When There’s No Light at the End of the Tunnel

If you’re going through a rough time right now, failure in your business, your dreams crushed and burned, confusion about who you are, addiction, divorce or relationship problems, this is for you!

Please don’t skim, read. It’s not that long!

When staying the same was no longer an option

I was born in the Soviet Union just a few years before it collapsed. Even though I was very little when it happened, if I were to describe it, it would be similar to a whole country immigrating to another country without physically moving anywhere.

Just like that, overnight, we learned about ads, sex, religion, spirituality, and Western values, and everyone was free to express themselves.

After years of freedom, including more open conversations about equality for LGBTQ+ folks, the government of the Russian Federation under Vladimir Putin passed a law prohibiting propaganda of the homosexual lifestyle.

I am gay. I had already started my career as a therapist after finishing my master’s degree in psychology and my supervised hours, and I had a tiny private practice and a ton of engagement with local schools and centers. I knew that I either had to stay in the closet and live in fear of being exposed, or I had to move. So I did.

Racing thoughts, fleeting hope, and feelings

There were two triggering events that activated me: first, the passing of the law that would forbid “homosexual propaganda”, and second, rumors that the Green Card Lottery (an immigration program that allows people to “win” their green card on a lottery basis) would end or that Russia might not be eligible because of the sanctions.

After the second trigger, I thought I had to do something. Especially after a month of freedom living in the UK, where I studied English, I knew that simply having a good career would not be enough to keep me in Russia. Not to mention, I was a religious minority in Moscow because I was Baptist.

I did have hope. It was fleeting through rejection after rejection, and then finally there was a little opening as my tourist visa to the US gave me that little light at the end of a very dark and scary tunnel that I was going through.

I did not have proof or a guarantee that anything would work out. I had a tourist visa and a couple of friends, and I could only take one step at a time with a simple trust that it was going to work out.

Making changes and taking action

If I were to say that I just bought a ticket to Chicago, IL, and then found a lawyer, applied for political asylum, rebuilt my entire life, and am now expanding my private practice to work with addiction patterns, that would be a gross simplification.

Making lasting, meaningful change started with preparation. I connected with local English-speaking churches in Moscow, Russia, where I met a lot of people from the US.

Information gathering was another phase: What would be possible for me? What if it all fails? What are the risks? Would it work out?

Another piece was my personal connection with the Creator, meditations, and radical spiritual trust in my spiritual guidance and downloads. Some clinicians may have suspected religious delusions, but I did not care if that is what it was. At the end of the day, it all worked out, and the guidance I received led me to this point in my life 13 years later.

Summer 2013, August 4th, was the most pivotal point in my life. I landed in Chicago, IL, met my friend at the airport, and as soon as I smelled the air in Chicago, I just knew I was not coming back.

I started looking for an immigration lawyer. After probably 50 nos and arguments that I was actually insane to hope that my asylum case would ever work out, I found a lawyer who was just as ruthless as I was. We met, he filed the paperwork, and we scheduled the hearing.

Then there was a waiting period. I could not work. I could not do anything but wait, and wait. Then, on December 19th, right before Christmas, I got my greatest gift of all time. My asylum case was approved, which meant I could stay in the US forever.

The change is not just one action. It’s mental clarity, psychological discipline, preparation, trusting the unknown, and taking action.

When I talk to people with SUD (substance use disorder), especially those who are in long-term recovery, the mechanism of that journey is quite similar to what I went through with my immigration. It didn’t happen overnight. The doubts are always there. The feelings are not evidence that something is wrong or not working, and the emotions are not facts telling me that I should not do it. It’s simply part of a long process.

It’s similar for founders and business owners. It’s not the fact that your current business is your next 9 figure exit, it’s the fact that if it fails or when it fails you have enough courage, clarity and connectedness to keep rebuilding.

Resilience in the midst of darkness

It’s hard to talk about my own resilience because sometimes I can’t quite read the label from the inside of the bottle. I will give it my most fair effort.

Resilience is not the lack of failure or emotions. On my path, I fell many times, I doubted myself constantly, and the dark periods have never disappeared completely. Resilience is consistency and persistence on my own path.

The ability to find resources and to be open to experiencing discomfort for an unknown period of time is evidence of resilience. If I put it very simply, I demonstrated resilience when I kept moving forward even when I did not feel like it or even believe in myself.

As far as resilience in my business, look, my career counseling business kind of just stopped working, I found myself in an interesting position with business coaching, and as a result and a sign of resilience, I am coming back to what I actually know best, healing arts, hypnotherapy, and helping professions.

When you worship, love, or look differently from the majority culture, it’s an extra heavy load on you especially as an entrepreneur.

When my therapist told me about my resilience, I felt both validated, and confused and angry. Yes I am resilient, and it begs a question, what other choice do I have?!

Wellness

Wellness for me is not just a fancy word; it’s a life asset. Throughout my journey, I had my non-negotiables: physical fitness, a healthy diet, prayer and meditation, search for and connection with the community I felt connected with, and my faith. Faith is one of the most important factors in my journey because I would not have been able to move forward after the trauma and harsh life experiences if not for my faith and my internal guidance.

Change is possible

I believe that change is possible. Recovery from SUD, stories about entrepreneurship, and hero stories have one thing in common: resilience and consistency.

Change does not happen overnight. Even when someone fails, it does not mean they will not change.

We can see it through the lens of neuroplasticity. Our brain is simply designed to build pathways for new habits, beliefs, and changes that over time become the foundation for success.

Prior to entering the SUD space, I worked with individuals with chronic and terminal illnesses and witnessed how Deaf clients were able to compensate and adapt to the lack of ability to hear and how clients with TBI (traumatic brain injury) learned how to walk and talk again and rebuild their lives from ground zero yet again.

I deeply believe that recovery and change are very possible for people who keep going, stay consistent with their actions, and keep going no matter what.

I also deeply believe in you. I may not know you, or ever will meet you in person, but if you’re reading this, you’re building something bigger than yourself, I believe in you. Getting into 1% or top 10% is not the definition of success or key to happiness, your continuous journey is. That’s why so many entrepreneurs keep exiting and rebuilding. So keep rebuilding!

One thing I want to be clear about. I don’t treat addiction independently. If you’re in active addiction, you need a treatment provider, and I can work with you as part of your care team. If you’re the partner, or the ex, or the one holding it all together, I can work with you directly.

This first went out as a letter on my Substack on October 4, 2026. If you would rather get these by email, subscribe there.