Hypnotherapy for gay and bisexual business owners who can't turn their brain off
You go to bed and your brain keeps working. The client who didn't answer. Payroll. The price you're scared to raise. What you should have said in that meeting. You solve one problem and there's another one right behind it. I know what that's like, because I've been there.
Eugene Berezin, MA, SUDPT, RHt
Registered Hypnotherapist · WA #HYPN.HP.70073119
Does any of this sound like you?
Stress from the business doesn't stay in the business. For most of the men I work with, it shows up in one of these four places. Usually more than one.
At night
You go to bed exhausted and your brain starts working. You fall asleep at one and wake up at four, already solving something. You've tried melatonin, magnesium, the sleep apps, you name it.
In your body
Your neck and shoulders are always tight. You wake up with your jaw clenched. Headaches, migraines, a back that goes out when work gets busy, an old injury that flares up before every deadline. You see a chiropractor or a massage therapist every couple of weeks. It helps, for a few days.
At home
You're at dinner with your husband and you're answering emails in your head. He says you're not really here. You snap about small things and feel bad about it later. Or the relationship already ended, and the business is the only thing that still feels under control.
When you need it to stop
A glass of wine to shut it off. Then two. A vape pen, a party on the weekend, whatever works. And it does work, for a while. Until you notice you can't turn off without it.
A lot of people will tell you this is just part of running a business. Some of it is. But not sleeping, a neck that hurts every day, a husband who feels like he lives alone: you don't have to accept that as the price.
Why your brain won't turn off
Listen, there is nothing broken in you. Your brain is doing what it learned to do: stay on guard, and find the problem before the problem finds you.
For a lot of gay and bisexual men that started early. Maybe you grew up reading the room. Maybe a parent drank. Maybe you had to watch what you said at school, or at church. You learned to stay alert, you got really good at it, and then you built a business with it. Honestly, it's a big part of why you're successful.
The problem is, it doesn't come with an off switch. Your body stays on alert at night, on the weekend, on vacation. For a lot of people, that's where the tight neck and the 4am wake-ups come from.
Something most people don't know. In a large national survey of U.S. adults, gay, lesbian and bisexual people reported chronic pain more often than straight people, and more often had pain in several parts of the body at once. The difference held even after the researchers adjusted for age, income and other factors. Zajacova et al., PAIN, 2023
Hypnosis is one of the most direct ways I know to help your body come out of that alert state. We don't argue with your thoughts. We work with the part of you that has been on guard all these years, so it can finally rest.
Can this help my business?
I'm not going to promise you'll make more money. Nobody honest can. What I can do is help you with the things underneath how you run it.
First, your patterns around money. A lot of business owners run on scarcity, whether they make six figures or millions. Maybe you:
- undercharge, and you know it
- can't relax when a month is slow, even with money in the bank
- keep a client you should have let go a long time ago
- feel like one bad quarter and it's all over
With hypnosis we look at where those patterns come from. Usually they're a lot older than the business. Then we work on them directly.
Second, the stress and the anxiety. When your nervous system calms down and you understand your own money story, you make decisions from a different place. In my experience, the business feels that.
Why I do this work
I'm a gay man, I've run my own business, and I've had plenty of nights lying awake solving problems.
When I went looking for help, I kept finding two kinds of people. Great therapists who had never had to make payroll or chase an unpaid invoice. And business coaches who talked about “your wife and kids” and never noticed they did it. I'd say “my husband” and watch their face change. So I kept the personal part vague and just took the business advice. That doesn't work when the personal part is what needs help. And usually it is.
Can I be honest with you? In 2022 my husband asked for a divorce. A year and a half later we got back together, and we're still working on it, step by step. I talk about it on my YouTube channel. I'm telling you because I'm not going to sit across from you pretending I've never been through it.
My background: I have a master's degree in psychology. I worked as a psychotherapist in Moscow, Russia, and then as a case manager, social worker and youth counselor here in the US. I also spent ten years working in tech. I'm a Registered Hypnotherapist in Washington (#HYPN.HP.70073119) and a substance use disorder professional trainee (SUDPT).
If you want the plain version of what gay hypnotherapy is, and what it isn't, I wrote it down.
What we actually do
Sessions are online, by secure video. Here's how it goes.
First, we define “better”
You want to feel better. What does that mean? What does it actually mean? Sleeping through the night? Closing the laptop at seven and being with your husband? A neck that doesn't hurt every day? We write it down in plain words so we both know if it's working. I use motivational interviewing for this part.
Then, hypnosis
You're awake, you hear everything, and you can stop any time. It feels more like very deep focus than being “put under.” This is where we work on the racing thoughts and the tension in your body. I also use parts work (Internal Family Systems). The part of you that stays up all night is trying to protect you, so we work with it, not against it.
A recording made for you
After a few sessions I record a hypnosis session built around your situation, in your own words. You use it at home, on the nights you can't sleep. It's not a stock download.
We check if it's working
Every few sessions we ask: are we getting there? If not, why not? Is it the approach? Is it me? I'd rather you tell me than quietly stop coming.
About the research. Hypnosis has good research for pain, stress and anxiety. In lab studies of pain, most people got meaningful relief (85 controlled trials). For sleep the research is promising, but the studies are small (review). And this isn't a replacement for therapy, or for a doctor if your pain is new or getting worse. If you need something I don't do, I'll tell you and help you find it.
Three ways to work with me
Weekly sessions
$250/ 60 minutes
One hour a week. Most people come for eight to ten sessions, and then we decide together if you need more. You pay one session at a time, no package.
Three-day intensive
$1,500/ three days
Three days in a row, about three hours a day. For when a weekly hour doesn't fit your calendar, or when something big is happening right now.
Premium
$5,000/ three months
The most access I offer, for three months.
- Up to three sessions a week
- Message me during the week
- Custom recordings as we go
- An emergency session within 48 hours
- Group hypnosis or a workshop for your team
HSA and FSA accepted. Superbill on request.
Here for something else?
Not everyone who finds me runs a business. I also work with:
- A divorce or breakup you can't get over
- A partner who drinks or uses
- Midlife, and the “is this it?” feeling
- Body image and weight
- Hypnotherapy for gay Black men
And if pain is the main reason you're looking, I have a separate site just for that: painreliefhypnosis.org.
Questions people ask
I don't own a business. Is this for me?
Probably, yes. If you have a job that follows you home, like running a team, tech, medicine or law, you will recognize yourself here. Same if you work a nine-to-five and build something on the side. What matters is the brain that won't stop, not whether you have a business license.
Is hypnosis real? What if it doesn't work on me?
It's real, and it's not mind control. You're awake the whole time, you remember everything, and nobody can make you do anything you don't want to do. Some people respond more strongly than others, and most people respond enough for it to be useful. Like any approach, it works a lot better when you and I actually click. If we don't, I'll tell you.
Is this therapy?
No. I'm a Registered Hypnotherapist in Washington (#HYPN.HP.70073119), not a licensed therapist. What I offer is clinical hypnotherapy together with motivational interviewing and coaching. It works well alongside therapy. If what you need is therapy, or treatment for substance use, I'll tell you and help you find the right person.
Can hypnosis help my neck pain or headaches?
Often, yes. Pain is one of the areas where hypnosis has the most research. But first, have a doctor check anything that is new, severe or getting worse. If pain is the main reason you are looking, I also run painreliefhypnosis.org, which is only about pain.
Do I have to be gay or bi to work with you?
No. I wrote this for gay and bisexual men because that's my community, and because it's the help I couldn't find for myself. Nobody is turned away.
I'm fairly visible. Is this confidential?
Yes. Notes and recordings are kept in a HIPAA-compliant system. I don't discuss clients, and nothing about you shows up in my videos or writing unless you agree in writing, and you're free to say no.
What does it cost, and how do I start?
$250 for a 60-minute session. You send a request, with no payment details at that stage. I reply within one to two business days with intake paperwork and a secure link where you pay and pick your time. The three-day intensive is $1,500, and the premium, all-inclusive option is $5,000 for three months. Details here.
Where are you?
Seattle, Washington. Sessions are online by secure video, so I work with people across the US and internationally, in English and Russian.
Not sure this is for you? That is a fine place to start.
Send a request and tell me what is actually going on. I reply within one to two business days with your intake paperwork and a secure link to pay and pick your time. No payment is taken at the request stage, and if I am not the right person for this I will say so and point you somewhere better.
Requests go to a secure, HIPAA-compliant SimplePractice form — no payment is taken there. Sessions are held online by video, worldwide.